Pants balloon out poop-Time For Your Worst-Ever Poop Stories

Oh God, the Super Bowl bye week. I feel as if all the blood has been drained from my body. No playoff games. No picked up flags. No de-juiced balls.

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

The rest is a blur. I was working the board and hosting a weekend afternoon shift while my co-workers were doing a remote ballion. While showering I did try and clean my crack as discreetly as possible, leaving partial stains on my hand in Pants balloon out poop process, but managing to make it without her noticing. No endless replays. I washed ballkon hands and informed Michelle tucker porn pics girlfriend what I had just done. Not possible, right? The doctor asks if I've been to any foreign countries or been camping recently and drank water with parasites in it. July I run back outside and pull pkop lawn chair out of the garage. The doctor's appointment went about as well as an appointment for a 25 year old man shitting his pants can go.

The american pageant book notes. Because fear is an emotion that’s tough to flip with a simple reward.

The kids are in the big pool Pants balloon out poop the adults are hanging out in the hot tub. Cancel reply You must be logged in to post a comment. But, it stubbornly refused to remain submerged and popped right back up to the surface again. I flushed and continued, only to have it happen again, so another flush. Shitting, ouh, vomit-shitting Similar to food Naked police but without the squirrelly stomach. Only after gesturing for a pencil and pad could I explain that they were killing me trying to save me. About the author Drew Magary. I had zero chance of making it, Pants balloon out poop my body knew it. I called out for my wife and she came balloon and froze in horror at the bloodbath in the ballooon and toilet. Mona indian aunty pee outdoor. In my early 20's, my wife and I had just moved to the big city Chicago and were still trying to find our social niche. They immediately hospitalized me for two days, shot me full of every antibiotic in the Middle East, and hit me with steroids like I oout Lyle Alzado.

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Oh God, the Super Bowl bye week. I feel as if all the blood has been drained from my body. No playoff games. No picked up flags. No de-juiced balls. No endless replays. I barely know what to do with myself, apart from avoiding the Pro Bowl. Anyway, since this is the dreaded bye week, it's time again for me to share our readership's worst poop stories.

Let's pull the handle and go down the drain…. I was at military school in 9th grade in the mid '90s. Our hall consisted of eight rooms, four on each side of the shitter. There were four bowls, two on each wall facing each other, and the showers were in the back. All one big room. The bowls each had half curtains, navy blue, that kind of covered your "area. Somehow a bet was made to take a big bite out of a magic mushroom air freshener - which all dorm rooms apparently need to cover the stench of sweat and ass - chew five times, then spit out.

It was pretty uneventful. Until about 4AM. I woke up to a severe burning in my stomach and I made the 20 yard dash to the bano. I hit the door, throw it open, and charge in only to realize I'm gonna be too late, drop my boxers and try to back in. The shit projected from my ass, hits the bowl and wall behind it from about five feet out. And just keeps coming. The ceiling was low, so I painted all sides of stall 1. Maybe 60 seconds was all it took. I throw my boxers in the trash, hit the shower, and head back to my room.

Maybe 20 minutes go by and I repeat the same scenario. Stall 2 done. Shower, back to my room. Not even 10 minutes for round three, I don't make it and end up shitting all over Stall 3's curtain and the main floor.

I can still see all the brown liquid covering, and dripping, from that navy blue curtain. Now I'm fucking panicked. Not 'Am I ok' panic.

I go back to my room, revelry, or whatever it was called, sounds and everyone starts to wake up. Explosion number 4 hits, I run into my Hall Senior, who was a prick, and nearly knock him down on my fourth, and final, trip. He walks in about to let me have it, witnesses the scene, and just walks away.

Now I know I'm fucked. But that was pretty much the end of the shit. Two hours later, I've made it through formation, drills, mess, and am in second period. Just sweating. I happen to be able to see my hall from class. I see the janitor cart roll up and the janitor go in, a minute or maybe less passes, he comes walking out and pukes everywhere, very casually.

I see him stand up, shake his head, and put on a mask and head back in. Nearly simultaneously my name blares out over the speaker to go to the Commandants office. My mom is on the speaker phone in his office. The rest is a blur. There was a large cleaning fee. Lots of running, with my rifle over my head. And lots of yelling. For weeks. I've never looked at those air fresheners the same since. About a year ago I decided to get a dog. I got the dog from a rescue group and she was a healthy puppy aside from some intestinal parasites.

We got the dog on a Saturday so we couldn't get her to the vet untilMonday to start trying to fix the parasite issue.

It turns out new living situations can stress out dogs and prevent them from going to the bathroom for a couple days. By Sunday night she hadn't pooped once. I was concerned but after some googling it didn't seem too unusual.

I woke up Monday and after getting ready for work note - if you have a puppy check it BEFORE you shower I go down to her crate and immediately get hit with a wall a stench unlike anything I'd smelled before. She had wallpapered her crate with 2 days worth of parasite-ridden shit. Cleaning it up was awful, but I didn't think much of it. The next couple days I started having "loose stools" to put it politely. I wrote them off as maybe drinking too much the night before and moved on.

Then one night, it happened. I woke up in a state of cold-sweat panic and start running to the bathroom. As I open the bathroom door I lost the fight and shit my pants. It was a horrible, awful experience and one I really never need to relive. The doctor's appointment went about as well as an appointment for a 25 year old man shitting his pants can go.

The doctor comes in and then a gorgeous med school student walks in behind her and asks if it's ok if she sits in on the appointment, I was so thrown by the hot girl in the room that I forgot I was there to discuss my incontinence so I agree to her sticking around. We get into why I'm there, and once I get to the shitting my pants part, the girl starts smirking which was the real ego booster I needed in this situation.

The doctor asks if I've been to any foreign countries or been camping recently and drank water with parasites in it. I mentioned the dog incident and the doctor immediately jumped on it. She was sure I'd somehow swallowed some dog shit and picked up the parasites. She was ecstatic, started talking about publishing a paper on my bizarre case, and was sure this was the source of my problem.

I'm sent home with a kit to get a stool sample and some medicine for the parasites. I bring the stool sample back and the result came back. I didn't have any parasites. I'd just shit my pants for no reason. It was a pretty low point in my adult life, but just to save face I told people I had giardia anyway. A couple weeks later I ran into the med student when I was out at a bar and immediately turned around and walked out the door.

Be careful around puppies with parasites. Fast forward to later on and I arrived into Corpus at around midnight where my roommate promptly wanted to go have a late night dinner at Denny's. My apartment wasn't too far but I wasn't going to make it so I tell him to pull into Walmart.

As I get out of the car my guts are screaming to be let loose and I'm clenching my ass and doing a penguin walk and as I'm walking, shit starts leaking into my underwear and jeans.

I don't think it's too bad, I figure it's something I could manage to save using a whole bunch of toilet paper. I run into the stall and pull down my pants and release what's left of the shit and I realize it's got a reddish tint to it due to the BBQ sauce. I look at my underwear and jeans and they are covered with what looks like that Ohio chili Burneko is always yammering on about. I'm so embarrassed and don't know what to do, and about a half hour later a Walmart employee walks in and I tell him to call an ambulance so I can fake getting out of Walmart.

Think about that, I was so embarrassed to just run out of store and hop back into the car and embarrass myself and roommate that I ask the employee to dial and call for an ambulance. So paramedics arrive and I tell them that the red poop might be due to blood and they put me on a gurney and rush me to hospital with my friend driving behind me. Several hours later and after a multitude of tests, x-rays and drugs administered to me one of the doctors comes in and tells me I actually DO have something wrong with me.

They said one of my ureters which funnels pee from the kidneys to my bladder is closed and that they have to put a stent in to keep it open. Several days later I have a procedure done where I went in for outpatient surgery and they shoved a stent in through my dickhole and basically inflated a long rubber balloon that would hold my ureter open. About six months later, I went into doctors office, the female doc applied some novocaine to the head of my dick and used some wiry alligator clamp thing to reach in and pull out about a footlong balloon out of my dickhole, fully awake.

This was all because I didn't want to be embarrassed for five minutes. It was the summer of 95, I'm years 12 old, and me and about 6 of the neighborhood kids were in my backyard, shooting hoops, bullshitting, etc. Typical summer day. Dumb and Dumber had come out in the past year, and like many other kids I hope , we were all infatuated with the scene where Jim Carey lights a huge fart.

We never really thought about it before, but now it became our number one goal. We're all sitting around, and all of the sudden I feel the bubble in my stomach. First thought was to go inside and grab a lighter, because fuck if I didn't want to be the first to make a fireball. I run back outside and pull a lawn chair out of the garage.

Finally a stall opens up and I run in still pooping and leaving a trail behind me. The Mayor knows I have to poop. So we decide to walk along the little river walk in town. This was used on an episode of The Office US in which Dwight interrogates everyone after finding a joint in the parking lot. Only after gesturing for a pencil and pad could I explain that they were killing me trying to save me.

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop.

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Lewd and cute amateur girlfriend fucked from behind outdoor 6 min WTF Pass - Tina pooping 2 min Ass Sniffers - Finally a stall opens up and I run in still pooping and leaving a trail behind me. It takes me over 45 minutes to clean up the best I can.

Good thing i brought a change of pants and panties. I put them on and put my soiled ones in a bag and shove them in my purse. It splashes all over the toilet and floor. I end up pooping for another 10 minutes before I can leave.

Still having cramps I head to my car and get in. As I drive home I poop myself again. Once home I masturbate in my dirty panties fingering myself as I fuck my ass with a dildo. Afterwards i shower and call it a day. You must be logged in to post a comment. Register Login. Sounds like you must have had a massive explosion. How did you fare? Cancel reply You must be logged in to post a comment.

Top definition. To poop a balloon is to place drugs into a balloon, eat the balloon , cross the border, and poop the balloon out later. This was used on an episode of The Office US in which Dwight interrogates everyone after finding a joint in the parking lot. Episode written by Jennifer Celotta and directed by Greg Daniels. I pooped a balloon. Arabian Gasmask Presbyterian Nittany Lion Jayhawk January 22 Mike Ock Clock it Yaoi paddle Queen of Hearts TGH July

Pants balloon out poop

Pants balloon out poop